Between the Darkness and the Light

Still haven't changed the colors, but things get done if they are ment to, and if they don't get done then maybe they weren't supposed to happen anyways. Festival is tonight, and I'm stressed... but that's normal. Guess i should go and practise, tho i don't know if it'll help any.

Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.
It slips away and all your money won't another minute buy.
Dust in the wind.
All we are is dust in the wind.
-Dust in the Wind

Sunday is gloomy
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
-Gloomy Sunday

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
-Dante's Prayer

Is anyone out there.... or am i invisable? Noone seems to notice me anymore... they never write, they never call and i hardly ever see them. *sigh* Maybe i've disappered into my own little world and they can't see me anymore, cuz i'm not actually here... i don't know... actually, i don't know anything anymore.

Have you ever felt like you are walking through a world filled with thousands of people, but none of them even notice that you are living in the same world. Well, maybe i don't live in the same world... but it's strange to walk into a room and not have anyone notice that you're standing there. Life has become some sort of strange play where everyone is acting, but i'm not in the cast... i'm just kinda walking throught the scenes and watching everyone act out there role. They don't notice me cuz i'm not in the script, and why would they notice someone who's just sort of walking around dazed and confused? *sigh*

*sigh* stupid blog is giving me troubles again. so.... we are now back to boring colors, just like my boring life.... stupid life.... alas. Why does everything fall apart?

Today is National Crown Roast of Pork Day.... but i didn't eat pork today... that was last night we had pork. Tomorrow is Be Nasty Day but i think we should only be nasty to mean people.... lol just like they say... mean people suck :P

"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on."
Beryl Pfizer
This is sooooooo true.... lol that's part of the reason that tisa's always mad at me lol.... good times ;)

So tonight was our festival recital and i played.... well, not bad, but i got lost in one of my songs and then for the other one i was so nervouse(does that have an "e" on the end... oh well, it does now) that i could hardly play. Curse the evil festival people who move up the date i play from wednesday to monday. *sigh* I'll never be ready.

In other news.... oh wait.. my life is boring and i don't have any other news.... escept that you should all go sign my guest book. And you REALLY REALLY should go to "more smiles" and use the little emoticons. They bring such joy! Lets see who can use the most in one message.

"Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others." - Jonathan Winters
" I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you beause someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top." - An English Professor, Ohio University Lol, i love that last one. Maybe that's what happens when i get bad marks in english. :P Yay! I got my discmanthinger for my birthday! Today is Multiple Personalities Day.... maybe that explains some things ;)

Hmmm... well it's my birthday today and for some reason i felt obligated (did i spell that right... oh n/m cuz my spelling is the law here ;) ) to write something. Funny that. Anyhow, i'd write up the crazy pharee tail that we composed for english., but i gave it to a friend to read so i'll have to do that another day. And now i have to go and practise my crazy bartok peice cuz stupid festival organizers are eeevil and moved my festival date up :/ *sigh* Perhaps more later tonight.

Well, tonight has been very interesting.... yes... not that i have much to say on that topic tho.

Why is the world so screwed up? Why does everything good have to be so hard to find, or... just so hard to hold on to? Maybe somehow, remarkably, you are able to find this little bit of happieness and you really want to hold on to it, but the harder you hold it the harder it is to hold on to it. It's like trying to hold on to a shodow, and everythime you think you've got it, you close you fist, but it just slips through. Why do other people never see how much they mean to us? Or maybe they do and they just don't care... but i'd rather not think that that is the case. And why can't people see how much we need them. Seems like, everytime i need a friend they are all gone, or too consumed in their own problems to notice. And i don't even know how to ask them to just... be there anymore. I... can't talk to anyone anymore... not that i want to. *sigh* Life is too confusing for me.